I know what you’re thinking. What kind of a psychopath has their own website these days?

A fair question. Harsh, but fair.

The simple truth is that I never quite bought into the idea that one social media platform could capture all the various ways that I show up as a person.

So a website allows me to tinker and play with what could loosely be described as a personal brand.

The biggest challenge about trying to present who I am, or aspire to be as a person, is that it changes from week to week, and sometimes on an hourly basis.

To para-phrase something The Edge once used about Bono... I’m working out how to be a great bunch of people.

📎 I never settle. Everyday is a relentless search for that next project; that next business venture; that next big idea.

But there is a golden thread that runs through all of these different sides to me - as a Dad, husband, colleague, friend, brother, son, mentor, consultant, podcaster, customer, client, neighbour, yada yada yada - which allows me to stay true to myself. And that is authenticity. As one colleague put it best recently; ‘how do you stay so unapologetically authentic?’ For me. that was compliment as I have grappled with what it means to be authentic, and have worked very hard to develop my confidence in embracing what makes me unique. That said, it is like a race without a finish.

For one thing, I never settle.

Everyday is a relentless search for that next project, that next business venture, that next big idea. And in chasing my dreams over the years, I am happy to report that I discovered and relished more of them than I could ever have expected. Realising I had a talent for cooking at school, I went on to be a Chef and Patissier cooking for royalty and celebrities in my teens. Dreaming of one day owning a restaurant, I opened Kilroy’s of Kathmandu - a 300-seat restaurant and bar - in my twenties. The fact that it was located in Kathmandu, Nepal made that odyssey all the more fascinating. That was a time when I wanted to be famous, so getting my own TV series broadcast across South East Asia was a bucket list item ticked off. And of course I met the future Mrs Kilroy there. A temple wedding followed, as did a church one. And then we welcomed our daughter Jade into the world. Cooking for 900 guests and meeting Sir Edmund Hilary on the 50th anniversary of his historic first summit of Mount Everest was a culmination of my success there. Good times.

But what goes up, must come down. The endless partying - sorry, business networking - and that relentless pursuit of building a brand did lead to three restaurants, a nightclub and event catering service and a lifestyle that many can only dream of having. But I was losing myself in the process. Like the proverbial frog in slowly boiling water, I was becoming the guy I would never want to be friends with. This was around the time of the Maoist insurgency in Nepal which hadn’t really affected the businesses. That is right up until a bomb explosion threw me to the floor of my restaurant where I nearly spilled my gin and tonic. True story. And it was the wake up call I needed that Nepal was perhaps not the place for our young family for the time being. With new dreams to be explored, we boarded a flight back the UK. While this proved to be a shrewd decision, we have missed Nepal every single day since.

Buying a village pub in Bedfordshire seemed a natural step to pick up where we left off, but pub-life turned out to be one of the toughest gigs I have ever had the misfortune to experience. Despite doing well as a destination food venue, the workload was just relentless. I can do relentless. But not thanklessly relentless. So after three years of working seven days a week, the credit crunch finally strangled the business. With £60k in debt to service, I found myself updating that CV for the first time in 10 years. This lead to a flourishing career in a sector I had never heard of at the time; workplace catering. And joining this large and very corporate environment in turn lead to another life changing decision.. just twelve days before my 40th Birthday, I stopped drinking. Completely. To this day, twelve years later I am still teetotal, and it has become one of THE best decisions I ever made.

📎 Someone once described me as ‘an all or nothing kind of guy, mostly all’ Which was true. And still is.

Someone once described me as ‘an all or nothing kind of guy, mostly all’ Which was true. And still is. With my new-found clarity I took up running. and in the decade since, have covered over 9000Kms covered since - losing three stones in weight at the time! Running has proved to be cathartic, both in planning for the breakthroughs I seek, and coping with the inevitable setbacks over the years.

The workplace catering management morphed into a very exciting - and ambitious - social media role at a time when Twitter was the new kid on the block. (And block I shall do very soon. Thanks Elon!). Of all the dream jobs I have had, that was without doubt one of the best. Right up until I was asked to report in to a new manager with an expert talent in micro-managing, gaslighting, and belittling which led me to seek new opportunities elsewhere. In applying for a role that involved nine and half hours of interviews, I found myself heading up a team of 220 people which allowed my to rebuild my confidence. And two great things happened as a result; the doubling of my salary overnight lead to us buying our first home. Secondly, in once again being reminded of what terrible line management looked like, (I almost committed suicide years earlier from being bullied by the Exec Chef, and the Patissier at The Ritz Hotel), I knew the kind of leader I wanted to become. With ‘kind’ being the operative word there!

Settling into the role, we achieved some astonishing results. But it was never going to last. The first time I was made redundant was like a punch in the stomach. When you are merely a line on the spreadsheet and don’t fit in to the new strategy, it can be tough to pick yourself up. More running. More introspection. Keep going. That’s all you can do. And then the call comes that gives you hope… ‘have you thought about casino’s? was the question from my recruiter. Umm, not recently, but I am intrigued to know more was my reply. And before I knew it, I was in a fabulous and exciting new role based in Mayfair. Very quickly however I realised that the operational strategy was wrong and a layer of management was added in that wasn’t actually needed. So it was only a matter of time when I was called into a meeting with HR to be told that at the end of this conversation I would be exiting the business. Reassured that my ‘professional integrity remains intact, and this is a purely commercial decision’.. I was out on the street within about eight minutes with all my desk belongings in a box. Due to be at The Savoy for the Institute of Hospitality Fellows’ Dinner later that evening, I phoned my wife who was running for the train into London to meet me. I told here I no longer had a job and she suggested we cancel. I disagreed. I felt we had to show up and put on a brave face as the networking might prove to be useful. The team at the Institute had very kindly organised a non-alcoholic wine for me personally, and as I smiled and told funny stories over dinner, nobody knew the inner turmoil that was happening in that moment. Interestingly the photo we had taken that evening is one of real celebration and speaks to our resilience and ability to demonstrate grace under pressure!

Launching Kitchen Sync at the beginning of 2020 was a big step back into entrepreneurship. With a couple of clients and big plans ahead, little did I realise a global pandemic was going to come along and pull the rug from under our fledgling business. Somehow we survived the uncertainty of the next few months until my sister-in-law sent me a link for a civil service vacancy entitled ‘various roles’. There was something about that raffle prize sense of the unknown about it, so I applied. A few weeks later, I was invited to interview which is kept to a very specific format based on your behaviours and strengths. I woke up on the morning fully energised and ready for the challenge. Except my wifi was down. I headed out for an early morning run to calm my nerves and when I got back, I still had no clue as to how I was going to do the interview since the wifi was still down. As ever, a brainwave hit me in the shower when I realised I could pop to my neighbour’s house. They were overseas, so I had the key. Letting myself in, I tested their system and thankfully it was still connected and live. Bringing though my big iMac to their kitchen, I got set up. With just seven minutes to go, I finally got to rehearse my presentation. This was not going well, but I have learned to stay calm under pressure

The panel were very gracious and we began the interview with my presentation and a couple of strength-based questions. Then they asked me to describe a time that I had a setback and how did I deal with that. Without thinking, I blurted out.. like that time that my wifi went down on the morning of a potentially life-changing job interview? The interviewer replied; Oh my goodness, when did that happen?’ ‘This morning, I replied, I am in my neighbours house on their wifi right now! And with that I said, ‘let’s use this as the example and began to break down all the options like cancelling or postponing but eventually finding a solution to ensure no time or resource was wasted. That answer scored 6 out of a potential 7 and helped me secure my role as Leadership Consultant in the Civil Service which has proved to be one of the most fulfilling endeavours of my career to date!

Leaving behind a 32-year career in Hospitality to join the Civil Service has been a strangely reflective period. I am as excited as ever by the journey ahead, while at the same time mindful of the wealth of experience I have built up that now seems to be ‘on hold’ for the time being. Not because I am planning to go back into Hospitality, but because I have always believed in the philosophy of ‘never say never’. Indeed, owning my own restaurant once again, really appeals to me. Then again, a return to 16-hour days of hot stoves and managing stock control.. not so much. I will always be an entrepreneur. especially as every dream job has a very short shelf life. That curiosity, coupled with that fear of regretting an opportunity I didn’t take when it came up will always keep me from settling.

What I do know is that the energy, experience, values, resilience and skillset I bring to any business, project, client or organisation proves mutually rewarding every time. And all the best rewards are found just over the horizon.